I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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