I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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