break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
