I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
