I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
