Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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