yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
