Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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