You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
