He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
