oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Randomize
