The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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