I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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