And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize