Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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