apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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