What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
