i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
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