you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
