Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
