did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
