i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize