Christians are straight up FREAKS
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
