just tell him i said nine months
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
