Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
