I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Randomize
