he puts the penis in happiness.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
