what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize