About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
