you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
