So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
