3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
ugly people sure do ruin things
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
