Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
