...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
