ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
