I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
