that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
