the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Operation Purity has been aborted
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
