Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Randomize
