Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I think your dad took our porno
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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