Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Randomize
