I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
