we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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