is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Someone came in the potted fern
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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