I wannas sexs uuuuu
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
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