Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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