I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
