what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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