Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
