Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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