god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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