The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
