i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
