lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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