Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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