I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
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