You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
you will always have a special place in my vag
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
