Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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