im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
