does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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