Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
He better not be in your backpack
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
