So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
