No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
