Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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