Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
