I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
