where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
PANTIES FOUND
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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