a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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