fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
