she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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