Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
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