I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
