u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
He passed out mid-signature
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
