I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
