I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
