Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
