How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
