real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Randomize
