He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
